Fatherhood
The terror in those chubby little digits,
The crippling, knee shattering glimmer,
And the sorrowful joy conjured by that smile.
As I hold you, and look down into your depths,
I can’t help but be eviscerated and condemned,
By the mark-less perfection I and this world will ruin.
You are the love I didn’t know I would lose,
One day as you are happy my heart will ache,
For I held you, my arms a cradle, now unable to hold you back.
If I am lucky, you will hate me,
You will be spoiled and cruel,
Signs I have done outstandingly.
But I have failed you if you are kind,
I have let the world hate you if you are understanding,
I am to be blame for you being reasonable.
Every step you take,
Every struggled word you spit,
I will mourn for it is you leaving me.
I won’t stand in your way,
Bending you into my potted plant,
Aching to have your limbs sprawled and free.
I look down on you, in my arms,
And you look up at me, carelessly sweet,
And I cannot be brave in the face of my love for you,
My sweet,
Unborn,
Cosette.
